Busting at the seams

It’s no secret to anyone who met me that I might be a little bit of an overachiever. I have a ‘no’ problem – as in, I am bad at saying it. And this flaw leads to weeks like this one.

I love my job – I love publishing research, I love working with clinicians, I love presenting our data and using it to improve outcomes and quality. I have ongoing projects, I have one-off project requests that pop up weekly (daily?), I have large scale executive level projects and I have pet projects and ideas I want to dive into. I could also spend 80 hours a week doing my job and never get everything I want to done.

Like this!

This leads into education – I’d love a second masters degree or a doctoral level degree, but I’ve reluctantly filed those away. Doesn’t stop me from wanting to get a graduate certificate though – and I would be dumb to not take advantage of the free tuition I get working for a university.

Then comes life outside of the office. Horses, house, hobbies, friends, dating. I bought the house last year and I have an Excel sheet 56 items long of things I want to do. Some of that is limited by financial resources, but a lot is just limited by the time to do it all. Then along with the house, one of my favorite hobbies is refinishing furniture for the interior. I have three pieces sitting in my garage/living room right now waiting for me to have time (ok, and some warm and dry weather OMG) to finish them. Or uh, start them.

This is living in my living room while it awaits its makeover

The horse demands an obviously large part of my attention and time, and rightfully so. I love riding, I love competing, I love the push to get better and constantly improve, be the best I can. Even going BN, it also requires a base level of fitness from your horse to safely get around – meaning, I have to be more than just a weekend amateur to get the necessary conditioning in on an older horse.

As soon as I have a dressage lesson (last night, omg my abs) or a jump lesson, I’m reminded how much I need to be in the gym. My back sobs at me to get my core stronger, my legs scream that they need more, my cardio could stand to be better. My hip flexors are tight as hell and need yoga classes. My body condition overall loves seeing my chiropractor consistently.

Also snuggles

I try to be a person who does more too, because I have other interests. I’m in Junior League, because I wanted to be more involved in my community and it’s a great group of women – but it takes up time too. I have friends I try to stay in contact with (most live out of state so at least I don’t feel guilty not seeing them in person?) and I’d like to not die alone with my unfinished furniture, Jack Russell and yoga mat. Meaning, finding the time to date. Which means finding the time to shower (I mean, in addition to normal duh, I shower), do my hair, put makeup on. I love makeup and cute clothes, sue me. That means finding time for drinks or dinner or coffee or whatever.

Then there’s the ‘others’. I like reading, both books and articles. I try to stay informed on current events, science, world news. I have a list of podcasts, Netflix series and movies on my listen/watch list. I want to learn how to sew, I want to make my own browbands, I’d love to be a better cook. Or uh, cook at all. Other than like, grilled cheese and chicken fingers. And sleep. Of course I can’t be one of those people who happily functions on 5-6 hours of sleep. I need 8 to function and my body is really happier with 9.

And swimming with manatees and kayaking

The truth is there just aren’t enough hours in the day for it all. While I know this as a factual matter, it doesn’t make it any easier. I hate having to prioritize things even though I know it’s a necessity.

This isn’t a typical post, but it’s the frustrations I’m feeling right now. I’m figuratively busting at the seams and at least getting it all out on paper makes me feel better. Anyone else feel like they’re in this boat?

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6 Comments

  1. Oh man… so much yes lol. A high stress, time consuming job. A house (THOSE TAKE UP SO MUCH TIME). A husband. A horse.
    And now…
    more gym time… competitions etc.

    Mondays and Wednesday? 4:50AM wakeup, gym, work, home around 5:30, dinner, tidy up, prep for next day…. sleep?

    Tuesdays and Thursdays? 6AM wakeup (whoo), work, barn, home around 8PM, cook (or eat), tidy up, prep for next day…. sleep?

    Friday is a short day! Meaning up at 6AM and home by 7PM…

    Saturdays and Sunday? Riding and trying to do everything that I couldn’t do all week. Ugh It’s exhausting. And this is all just a “regular” week without anything special going on.

    Moral of the story? Just try not to think about it too much. And drink more water lol.

  2. I feel you! I accepted dying alone with my dogs and horses and gave up dating. But maybe eventually I’ll try that again? I’m with you on so much of this though! Work and horses get the majority of my time, and then I try and fit friends and house stuff in when possible. I sleep 6-7 hours most of the time. But I also really want to learn how to sew. I want to make my own baby pads. I keep saying I’ll start getting up early and running again, but so far, no dice there.
    Anyway, point is, not sure if it helps, but most of us are in the same boat. We all get it, and you’re definitely not alone!

  3. I have been you. I’m still like that a little bit but not as much now that I’m in my 50s. But there are still a lot of things I’d like to do. Mapping things out helps for bigger projects. I try to look at the bigger year as well. My fitness classes tend to be over winter because in the summer there simply is not enough time with riding, work and farm chores. I’d love to get a half decent flower garden going but I get short on time and the weeds take over.

    So no real advice, other than be kind to yourself and it’s okay if you don’t do everything.

  4. omg your entire post made me want to go take a nap 🙂 hahahaha remember to breathe okay?? You do a lot! So remember to enjoy life too!

    Also which conference in Philly? this is my job conferences (I do the program for ours so am always interested in learning more about other conferences)….

    Give Iggy a kiss for me 😉 Hope to meet him (and you) one day!

  5. Definitely feeling it today. I went straight from work to the barn the last two days, which meant that I got home 14 hours after I left, then had to eat an reset things for the next day. That left me no time to stretch after riding. Consequently I hurt everywhere when I tried to roll out of bed this morning.

    I should have ridden again this evening, but I needed to take the night off. After a two hour coma nap on the couch I’m making supper and trying to catch up on a few things I didn’t have time for – like loading the dishwasher and printing a couple of forms I need.

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