How to go to a horse show

How to prepare for your first CT at BN:

  • Have giant work project take over your life, including 10 hour Saturday and Sundays

  • Temperature drops out from under you, making it miserable to go outside
  • When you do make it to the barn, have horse decide he hates you and will only go backwards

  • Back around round pen 45 times until horse decides that also sucks
  • Now you can’t go forwards OR backwards
  • Have saddle rep come out to try saddles
  • …where horse immediately decides he CANNOT HORSE NO

  • Repeat, inability to move
  • Trainer has to get on while you’re supposed to be trying saddles… twice
  • Hallelujah, horse can trot
  • Canter is still iffy
  • Remind yourself that you can trot BN and horse can get over all of them
  • Hyperventilate a little bit

  • Second work project goes from being nice, casual easygoing thing to HUGE PRESENTATION
  • …on the Thursday before your Saturday show
  • Cue anxiety that manages to keep you awake despite Benadryl AND melatonin

  • Sleep is for the weak
  • …or those without crippling anxiety issues. That too.
  • Horse decides he can horse again, but only likes to canter in dressage test
  • NOWALK NOTROT THOSE DUMB, HORSE ONLY CANTER, I IS FAST SADDLEBRED, I CANTER BEAUTIFUL

  • Give up mentally

  • Look at show day forecast: high of 36. Sob.
  • Consider buying stock in hand warmers
  • Figure out how many layers of clothing you can wear and still ride effectively enough not to fall off
  • Get look of pure disgust from dog when you take him out at 5:30am on show day and it’s 15 degrees outside
  • Wait until brain cells are frozen enough that you cannot be nervous, or frankly, care

Recipe for success, right?

Outcome to come tomorrow. Spoiler alert: I am alive.

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6 Comments

  1. laughed out loud. MANY TIMES reading this. HA i thought i was freezing on sat but the sun was out and it was only an hour or so being outside 😉 HA glad you survived can’t wait to read all about it!

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